Ultra Nifty Quotes

1. Procrastination:God's REAL gift to man.

2. If a wood chuck could chuck wood, that would make beavers obselete.

3. Heart attacks aren't the leading cause of death in AMericans... Its the food that causes them.

4. The beginning of the end of the rest of your life.

5. I'm not a nerd! I'm a level 13 hobbit!

6. Imagination is more important that knowledge-Albert Einstein.

7. To thine ownself be true-William Shakespear.

8. Ah! You may be able to throw a football a hundred yards, but it is I that can count to ten!

9. Once I tried to shoot the stars with my b.b. gun... They shot back...

10. Once I tried to shoot the stars with my b.b. gun... But the cops stopped me...

11. T'wasn't me! 'Twas the nifty wood louse!-Arkron

12. One death is a tragedy... A million deaths is a statistic.

13. How do we prove we exist when we might not exist?

14. On the other hand... I have five more fingers.

15. Teenage students have the same mind set as a hermit crab... Move away from your seat for one second and one steals your spot.

16. I played baseball all my life, so I know that heads up means look down and put your head up... So when I went to a wedding and the bestman toasted "bottoms up," I mooned him...

17. My teacher told me I have to do well in the game of life... But that game sucks, so I told him I'd rather do well in hungry hungry hippos.

18.If every one in the world lit just one little candle, thats a huge fire hazard.