1)Do not call Master Sargent Griggs "massa"
2)The United States Military doesn't go around "blassin' up dem injins."
3)It is improper to dance a jig while singing "I have wooden shoes, Jus like th' Dutch people wear" in an Enlgish accent while in uniform.
4)My uniform shoes are not to be used as bludgeoning devices.
5)When the Colenol from the Civil Air Patrol comes to talk to your class, don't tell him he looks like the Quaker Oatmeal guy(even tho' he did when he put on my pirate hat. Looong story...)
6)Just because my commander's Wiccan doesn't mean I can call her a "Grass Worshippin' Commie."
7)Castro is not my grandfather.
8)Our uniforms aren't blue so the pee-stains don't show up.
9)The Wing Commander's shiny ribbons are not to touch.
10)It's a flight simulator, not a really cool video game.
11)It is wrong to tell the Inspector Colenol that MS Griggs just got a really cool video game with the grant that the AirForce sent us.
12)Don't get into shouting matches with the National Guard Recruiter(even if he is a little bitch who's never done any real military funtions but wrongly considers himself high and mighty)
13)Don't call the AirForce recruiter a prick with a crappy haircut.
14)His name's Sgt. Wallace, not Wally.
15)NEVER tell the Navy recruiter she has a nice ass...
16)You're supposed to run, not skip like Little Red Riding hood, on PT day.
17)I have to shave. Dying my facial hair peach doesn't count.
18 )When the SASI tells you to get in shape, do not repond,"But round is a shape!"
19)When giving drill comands, do not instruct the cadets to "do the hokey pokey and turn themselves about."
20)No cadence should start with "It is fucking hot out here"
21)The squadron flags are not to be used as lances.
22)When the SASI is mad, it's no because "He's got a small pecker."
23)Don't sing "O' Canada" while in flight in a parade or any other function.
24)Bin Laden does not play in the NBA under the guise "Scotty Pippen"(anybody else notice that?)
25)The drill team has nothing to do with power tools.
26)It is not funny if you get out of step while in a flight just to mess up the person beside and behind you.
27)When wearing your service coat, don't go up to the SASI and say, "Look at my nifty trick" and pop your collar.
28 )Don't mimic Napoleon Bonaparte while in service dress.
29)While at a drill meet in another city/town, don't root for the other drill teams.
30)(This one's for the ladies. This happened to my ex-class commander, Faye)Don't wear a thong on PT day.
31)The uniform tie is not a headband.
32)We're HamCo AFJROTC, not "The Drill Team that's gonna' kick your pussy ass."
33)You are NOT to wear flip flops instead of the dress shoes while in uniform.
34)"Shakin' my sexy booty, look at my sexy booty," is not the right thing to say when told to fall out.
35)Don't hike up your PT shorts so your butt hangs out. It's disturbing, not sexy. Especially if you're a guy.
36)The macarina is not a certified PT exercise.
37)"Turn your partner round and round" is not a proper command to give your flight.
38)Just because the uniform hat looks like a hot dog vendor's, doesn't mean you are one.
39)Don't sing, "My Milkshake" while rubbing your man boobs to get somebody to laugh while doing "Drill and Military Bearing."
40)Being called "Shit Weasle" is a derrogatory thing. It doesn't mean I'm a special agent, like the Navy SEALS.
41)The Lake City NJROTC are not a bunch of 'flaming homos' and it's wrong to imply that by singing "In the Navy" while passing them.
42)Those are port-o-potties, not secret government air-craft.
43)Don't try to cheer up Moody AirForce Base. It can't hear you.
44)Don't say the Fort Bragg is conceited.
45)As cool as it might be, you should never toss your binder across the drill room floor and try to ride it like a wake board.
46)Now that the drill room has been given to weight team(great going, you son-of-a-bitch Principal Starr...)it can now be used as your own personal bathroom.
47)Don't bring a foreign exchanged student from an ex-communist country in and shout,"I've captured the enemy!"
48 )(This is a real one. And I didn't need to learn it, but other people SERIOUSLY do)Not all Germans are Nazis. It is okay to kick somebody's ass if they call our Dear German(my name for my friend Claudia) one.
49)You shouldn't play "G.I. Joe" with the drill rifles.
50)Do not give a standing ovation to MS Griggs when he walks in the room and you can see his penis imprint thru' his pants, even if it is 12+ inches.
51)Penis-Monster is not a rank in the AFJROTC
52)Megadeth is not the musical mascot of AirForce.
53)Don't put your service coat on backwards and call yourself "Backwards Man."
54)Don't try to kill somebody by poking them with your collar ranks.
55)A SpongeBob tie is not a suitable subsitute for the navy blue service dress tie.
56)Just because he's Mexican, doesn't mean the Marine Recruiter's last name is:Garcia, Hernandez, Lopez, or Zamora. It's a lot longer than those.
57)Don't laugh and say "Haha. You're gonna' die" when somebody tells you that they signed up for the Marines.
58)The uniform is not a chick magnet and it is wrong to glue barbie dolls to it.
59)Just because you don't like chicken and rice, doesn't mean you are excused from said cadence(The cadence is: "If you like chicken n' rice, stomp your left and drag your right"*everybody stomps foreward with their lefttfoot and drags their right foot foreward three times. "Sounds so sweet, sounds so nice, let me hear it one more times" and they do the action again.)
60)Remember that the part of "jar headed marines" in the airforce is best cadence is altered while doing a parade. Old people get mad easily.(post in the guestbook if you want to know what that is... Either I or Jester will tell you...)
61)When your class commander tells you to shine your shoes so that they can see their face in it, don't try to fit it around their head.
62)No, I cannot grow my hair long and put it in a pony tail like the girls.
63)Just because the shoulder pads in the service coat makes it look like I can bench press 300 lbs doesn't mean I really can.
64)The uniform pants are not nut huggers, and it's wrong to wear a sock while walking around shirtless singing AC/DC songs while wearing them.
65)Eminem is not the enemy.
66)I may not give commands given to my flight based on things I heard from ICP songs.
67)NEVER emblazon a big red hatchetman on the back of your service coat.
68)Grand Cheif Super Sergent is not a real rank.
69)Jesus is not my TRUE Wing Commander.
70)When told to state your name, don't say,"Sexy Beast, reporting for booty."